Emotional abuse is, in my opinion, an overlooked problem that many people suffer with in silence. There is of course no blame in this as oftentimes emotional abuse is done in such subtle ways that the victim cannot find the words to describe it. There are no visible scars to show, just those of a deep emotional kind.
The abuser may not have learned how to handle relationships in a healthy way when they were younger and their acts of emotional violence may have arisen out of fear, a sense of powerlessness or anger at the other person. Instead of verbalising their emotions their coping mechanism became to punish and control. Their journey to healing is one of first accepting what they are doing.
For the victim of emotional abuse they may feel they have lost their power and, their self esteem may be at such a low level that they don't know how to rise out of the situation and take back control of their life.
Here are some ways that victims of emotional abuse can use to support themselves.
1. Find some trickle of light, some piece of rope to catch onto and from this place, ground this light or rope so tightly into the ground that nothing can detach it. Storms will blow and words will be spoken but to feel attached to something, to anything is vital.
2. Stop blaming yourself. Realising that the only person we can change in life is ourselves is crucial, the other person has their own journey and they have to find their own way. So blaming ourselves is actually abuse towards ourselves that is not needed and, won't solve the problem.
3. Have belief in yourself that you can change. If we can remember back to a time that we felt in control of our life, a time we accomplished something on our own, we can feel into this energy and hold onto it. We can bring this feeling of belief into our everyday life again, even at first if we have to fake it!
4. Do something that makes you happy. Regardless of how we feel, there is a place inside ourselves that knows what makes us happy. Taking even one small step today to bring this happiness towards ourselves is a mighty feat.
5. Embrace your personal power. We all have a power deep inside of us that we can access, it resides within and not without. It is us who decides how that power is used, we can decide that today is the day we take our power back, bit by bit.
Until next time ... keep the faith,